Is it Anxiety, or is it Masking?

Ever feel like you're playing a character in a play you didn't audition for? Like your anxiety is through the roof, your thoughts are racing, and you're constantly overthinking every little interaction? You try to explain it, but everyone tells you, "Oh, we all feel that way sometimes!" But what if "sometimes" is all the time?

What if it's not just anxiety or overthinking, but something more? This is for you, if you've ever suspected your anxiety might be masking something deeper, if you've ever felt the shame of being misunderstood, especially as an autistic woman.

Let's dive into the tricky territory of anxiety, overthinking, and masking. It's a tangled web, especially for women who are later diagnosed with autism. We're often told our experiences are "normal," which can lead to years of self-doubt and confusion. I'm not a therapist, but I can share some lived experiences that might resonate.</p>

The Overthinking Spiral

We've all overthought a text message or replayed a conversation in our heads. But for autistic women, this can be amplified. It's not just wondering if you said the wrong thing; it's meticulously analyzing every word, facial expression, and unspoken nuance. It's like trying to decode a secret language everyone else seems to understand instinctively. This isn't just anxiety; it's often the exhausting work of masking, trying to predict and control every social outcome.

The Social Chameleon

Have you ever felt like you adapt your personality to fit in with different groups of people? At work, you're the polished professional, effortlessly navigating meetings. With friends, you're the bubbly, easygoing companion. But inside, you're exhausted. This social chameleon act is a classic example of masking. It's a survival strategy, but it comes at a cost. That constant shifting and adapting fuels anxiety and can lead to burnout.

The Shame of "Normal"

You finally confide in a friend about how overwhelmed you feel in social situations, and they say, "Oh, honey, everyone gets nervous at parties!" You try to explain that it's more than nerves, that it's a deep sense of disconnect, but the words just won't come. The shame creeps in. You start to question yourself. "Am I just making this up? Am I just being dramatic?" This is the insidious nature of being undiagnosed. The world tells you your experiences are typical, but they don't feel typical to you.

Workplace Woes

Think about your work life. Do you struggle with office small talk? Do you find it hard to concentrate in noisy environments? Do you feel pressure to participate in social events that leave you drained? These seemingly "typical" workplace challenges can be amplified for autistic women. The constant pressure to mask, to conform to neurotypical expectations, can be incredibly draining.</p>

Friendship Frustrations

Navigating friendships can be just as challenging. Do you find it hard to keep up with group dynamics? Do you prefer one-on-one interactions over large gatherings? Do you sometimes feel like your friends don't quite "get" you? These experiences can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.

What to Do Next

If any of this resonates, please know that you are not alone. Many women are on this journey of self-discovery. Start by researching autism in women. Look for resources that specifically address masking and sensory sensitivities. Connect with other autistic women online – the shared experiences can be incredibly validating. And if you suspect you might be autistic, consider seeking a professional assessment.

Unraveling the layers of anxiety, overthinking, and masking can be a long and challenging process. But it's also a journey of self-discovery, a chance to finally understand yourself and embrace your authentic self. You deserve to be seen, heard, and understood.

Share your experiences in the comments below. Let's create a safe space for women to discuss the complexities of masking and autism.